The Patriot

Many a Dubai resident has found themselves driving behind Angus Murray’s Prado and been assailed by the aggressive messaging that adorns his bumper, including the unlikely ‘If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap’ and the infamous ‘Screw Tibet, Free Scotland!’  He’s still waiting on the delivery of the ‘Ecosse’ oval although he thinks it best not to admit his confusion as to why it’s written in French.

Angus has lived in Dubai for 3 years and everyone who has met him during that time has been made quite clear about his cultural identity and told at length about his (very) distant relation, Andy.  Even his great friends dread the annual Burns Night where they are forced to eat haggis (damn that Park n’ Shop) and listen to Angus’ recitations.  They squirm in their seats, being careful to avoid any eye contact with each other while he makes a car crash of the ‘Tam o’Shanter’, while the Red Hot Chilli Pipers drone on in the background.  This year they were particularly crestfallen to see that Angus had managed to source a case of Irn Bru from Lulu’s.  Thankfully, he also has a keen sense of the strength of his Celtic links and there’s always a good amount of Guinness to keep the lads happy.  In fact, Angus seems to have adopted Ireland (lucky chaps) as his brother nation and, apart from the odd trip to the classy St Andrew’s Pub in Satwa, tries his best to keep to the usual drinking establishments of Fibber Magee’s, McGettigan's and the Irish Village.  He’ll be there all through the six nations cheering on any team except England (and particularly any team playing England) and has occasionally been known to pick up the odd 'lassie' who, on returning to his apartment, see the large Nessie on his bed, jump to the wrong conclusions and ultimately leave the next morning feeling disappointed.  Perhaps the St. Andrews themed Crocs should have been a warning.

If given any opportunity to throw on his kilt, Angus will do so, taking part in every saint’s day, ball and society get-together on offer.  Having bored a number of fellow drinkers within ear-shot last St. Andrew’s day about how wonderful his home country was, one rather irate fellow from the Antipodes suggested that if he loved his country so much, then perhaps he should go and live there (albeit slightly more colourfully phrased).  At this Angus was silenced.  Heaven forbid anyone should discover that his mother hails from the States and lives with his father in a lovely village just outside Oxford where Angus has spent most of his life.