NEWSFLUSH: Cafe uses salacious means to attract patrons

The 'bum' evidence

A popular cafe in Dubai has sunk to new depths to try to woo patrons to its all day breakfast.

Couples, families and slightly awkward-looking visiting parents were left 'O'pen mouthed this weekend as they surveyed the cafe's ridiculously long menu.  Although some visitors to the well-known eatery were excited by the prospect of an altogether new style of Eggs Benedict, many were left shocked and disturbed and in need of culinary stress counseling.

A miss-sold customer

Managers at the cafe refused to comment on the indecent ingredients but one worker, who preferred to remain anonymous, was mystified: "I only greet people when they walk in.  I have nothing to do with the menu, taking orders or really being helpful at all."

Sue and Martin Jenkins, who were visiting from England were visibly upset. "We thought our son and daughter-in-law were living in a decent and upstanding country.  We have just bought a pair of all-terrain sandals for our future visits but perhaps we should take them back."

Cultural and Language Nuance Specialist Susan Lee said "The offending word is open to misinterpretation.  But what is more offending?  Serving up toasted a***s or roasting homeless people?"

Given the latter are in short supply in Dubai, the public have been warned to watch their backs.

Investigations continue.